Streetlife

i feel just the same

Most people are just trying to be helpful, Delivery drivers are trained to ask and help people. Just accept it with grace.

I'm not knocking delivery drivers, their willing to carry everything into the kitchen if need be, but it would be better if they asked, for instance  "do you need a hand" and then you can say yes or no.

My gripe is with the words, not the people, I just wish they wouldn't call me love, dear, sweetheart, darling, it makes me feel old.

yes I agree , I do not like being calledlove dear sweet heart, It to me being too familiar,But Having worked with people as customers, You are  wrong doing right.
I was trained to call customer sir or madam.I then was told by the customers to stop being too formal.
It is a case of ignoring the comments, or politly telling people you are capable of doing things yourself.

If our paths ever cross i'll remember not to call any of you ladies FLOWER..you can take the northerner out of the north, but........

Ah, come from Charlie Wiliams country then, I don't think I'd mind Flower as long as the OLD bit isn't in front of it, I might mind if it was PETAL though don't know why and strangely, I never minded a Scottish lady calling me HEN.

Why do we have to be adressed as any thing, Use our names if you know them .
otherwise do not use other forms of adress.

These people are only trying to be helpful and in this world where "I'm alright Jack and me me me" is often the case I think you should accept their kindness with good grace.  After all a little help is worth more than a lot of pity.

At least in this country we let people out in traffic. I have driven in Canada and Cyprus and it's every man for himself. On the whole we are a friendly race and this is bound to lead to informality. I prefer it that way. I still hold doors and give up my seat for a woman. Am I doing wrong?

no, you are not doing wrong.I do the same. giving my seat up for seniors male/female. and holding the door open. What I was commenting on  was the term of endurement people use, I do not like it.

Each to their own Linda C - i think most people use the words love, hun, dear, flower ect in a friendly polite  way..if that friendly politeness gets your goat then thats up to you..i'm sure most senior citizens would prefer that approach rather than be called something non too pleasant.

What I was saying that our friendliness as a race naturally leads to informality rather than the strict formality of some countries. The use of such terms as love and flower is the natural result of this. Where else in this world do we say hello to passing strangers? I am glad we are this way

Sad but hello is returned with a blank look may times these days.   It wont stop me keeping the custom alive though because seeing many people a second time gains a response.

As Terry Pratchett wrote ( more or less) the economies of some countries depend on the lifting power of little old ladies in black dresses. It has always been the same-some of my female ancestors are on the old census records as being well over 70 and still working in assorted jobs including field work. Everyone knows the myth of the fragile female becomes just that when there is some hard or mucky yakka to be done-not so long ago that all laundry was done with a copper and a mangle and very hard work that was too, and look at the old pictures of the women gutting herring in the cold and wet. Not long ago every bit of food was either carried home by " mum" or delivered. Which brings me to deliveries. The stores I use have to ask if you want things carried in-the post delivery customer satisfaction asks if the driver offered to do so and if we said they didnt they would get a flea in their ear. As for terms of address in shops and on the market etc-in Lincolnshire it is "me duck", in my bit of Norfolk it was always my dear ( or "my dare" if you want it as it is said!)  and I was always gal to a Kentishman. I suppose we could always insist on sir or madam, but  to the average Norfolk person it smacks of servility and we don't expect our delivery drivers to have to be servile. Maybe introduce yourself when they come to the door-they may know who the order is for but not who is receiving it.

Well said Holly H I agree with everything you have said.

thank goodness we live in a high technological age.

Thank you for your well thought out comments Holly H. Delivery drivers and other people delivering customer service has to go through a process these days.

I cannot stand the checkout girls/boys calling me darlin', love, etc.  and in particular I dislike being asked what I'm going to be doing today or anything personal.  It's quite possible to be friendly without being too familiar.  Just a little more professionalism is all I ask.

Whilst I agree with Rosemary M in respect of being called darling love, I also dislike it, But being asked about what I am doing, I find nothing wrong ithat. You have to bear in mind, the cashiers have been trained to make conversation when  dealing with customers. I worked in custom facing jobs for years. It is hard work trying to have a "conversation" with people, Having to remember  you will be dealing with people of many different backround and faiths. Sticking to the weather did get tedious. So asking what they were doing that day seems fair enough.

my brother in law calls every woman regardless of age "ma'am" (pronounced marm) - which I think is a very nice way of addressing people, but he doesn't half get funny looks (especially from the younger generation)

Hi All, I hail from Leicester, born & bred. There, you always addrees ladies as "Mi'Duck" A few years ago, we received an invitation to a garden party at Buckingham Palace. At the party we were advised by a Gentleman-at- Arms, we had been selected to be introduced to the Queen, and he told us we must address her as "ma'am" (pronounced marm). We shook hands and she asked us what charities were we involved with. ( one is; Headway. Trafalgar Rd East Gorleston) we talked with her for approx 10-15 mins. All the while, my wife was on pins incase I called the Queen Mi'Duck. Luckily for me, I did'nt. But it was a close call.

I was engaged to an American (Bill) and lived in USA for awhile. We met each other playing poker on line. When Bill introduced me he would always say this is Dee she speaks funny, of course the next question would be how did you meet and he would reply, i won her in a poker game.

Anyone can call me what they like as long as it is warm and friendly and I will accept any help offered gracefully . one gets old and they should be able to accept that gracefully to .

Just a nice bloke who knows how to treat a woman with respect will do me!

Exactly Jackie F, respect and kindness I lap up , musn't say nice bloke I would have the hubby after me.