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Stop Being Rude & Offensive

Dear Streetlifer's. Firstly I would like to thank all those who attended today's Streetlifer's Coffee Morning. Secondly, Tony please come back as we all missed you. We all like and respect you and we thought you felt the same about us as a group.

Thirdly, it has become a general consencous that this site has become far too personal and caustic. I have spoken to many people in Ilfracombe since this site was set up, encouraging them to sign up. However, many people do sign up, read some of the posts and rapidly sign off again vowing never to come back. I'd like to point out again that this is a Social Networking site which allows us to basically discuss what is going on in our town/street. We can also make new friends who we can chat to about recipes, how to keep warm in winter, and other lighthearted stuff.

Now, most of us on this site are polite, have manners and the utmost respect for others, their feelings, opinions, value's, beliefs etc. We would not dream of so publically referring to people as cretins just because their opinions are not the same as ours. We wouldn't dream of insulting people's religious belief's or lack of them. Everybody is entitled to have strong views or beliefs; we may not agree with them but it doesn't give us the right to ridicule the individual/s who do. Therefore can we use this site for the reasons it was intended for. For example, to bring people together as a  community and to help put positives into our community.

People are like works of art (and Marmite) - we either like them or dislike them. There are no set rules. However, don't pass judgement until you have met the person you disagree with - most of us/them are actually very nice, genuine kind and caring individuals who especially love and care about about the town we live in.  Obviously we also care about what's going on around the rest of the world but no man/woman, entity has the ability to change the world on their own so let's just focus on our own small plot of land - on this site anyway.

Therefore, we wish to have no more name-calling nor caustic remarks on this site as in future you will be totally ignored and hopefully blocked.

Many thanks for listening x

Comments

Showing 24 of 24
Shirley J
In total agreement, Caryn - very well said - and the others please take note.   Tony, you were missed this morning - as were the others.  If you meet up with us you will find certainly the ones at coffee very pleasant, amenable people.
Gretchen G
I miss Tony too, as much as I disagree with everything he says I do find it wildly entertaining.
Helen R
Well put Caryn and yes you were missed this morning Tony.  Those of us who meet for coffee are a nice bunch and we talk about anything and everything.  We don't always agree with each other but we do respect each others views.
Caryn L
Gretchen. I think he's wound most of us up at sometime and at times it can be entertaining, it's when comments start getting bitchy and personal that it stops being so funny. But Tony has always (until today) attended our coffee mornings and he is in fact a real sweetheart and quite a caring man x
Angela E
I would just like to say thank you to all of you that attended your coffee morning at Brainfreeze today.  I hope it was a good experience. Thank you all for coming and Tony for recommending it! x
Caryn L
And Tony, I'm sure you're reading all this so you can give me the tenner we agreed on for saying lovely things about you at the next coffee morning! :-)
Caryn L
Angela from Brainfreeze.  It was a pleasure being there. Lovely, friendly service, clean and relaxing environment, hope to visit you again. We would have stayed a longer but we were all dying for a wee-wee!
Tony Olsson

I visited Brainfreeze earlier for a coffee; Angela told me you were saying nice things about me. Thanks Caryn – love you! xxx

Having suffered from Asperger’s all my life, I find social situations difficult, and impossible to deal with conflict in a “pleasant” manner. That’s why I tenaciously fight for what I believe in. I take an interest in things. Even though I have made clear I don’t like Ilfracombe (I moved here because commuting from Barnstaple to Pall without my own car was becoming impossible), all my letters to the papers are to try to put wrongs right, to warn of problems, unrealistic ideas etc. It hurts when they are dismissed as condemnation and trouble-making.

I am enrolled at the Volunteer Centre; and many years ago set up a resident’s organisation (with NDC assistance) in Barnstaple. After weeks of dealing with all the legal paperwork, discussions with committee members about what the community needed etc, a meeting for residents with local Councillors was arranged. Nobody turned up, so I walked. Had more success with the playgroup my youngest son went to. They liked my input so much they took me on the staff. I also spent six months as a Community Service Volunteer (voluntary, not the kind Caryn referred to in another conversation) re-organising one of Dundee Social Work Department’s operations, organising school children to do interviews etc. I also assisted at a club for physically handicapped children. When I tried to join a similar club in Barnstaple, I was treated as some kind of idiot. Is it surprising I have a jaundiced view of North Devon?

You missed me; I missed you (with one exception). Let me know when the next meeting is, and I will try to be there. Next Monday is out as I will be on my way back from Birmingham.

Caryn L
Awwww Tony, luv you too xxx. You really don't have to justify yourself here or anywhere else. We'll arrange another coffee morning once you're back and we're all free to welcome you!
Gretchen G
" Having suffered from Asperger’s all my life, I find social situations difficult, and impossible to deal with conflict in a “pleasant” manner."

You cause the conflict!
Caryn L
Gretchen. Maybe you should look up symptoms of aspergers.
Tony Olsson
Let's not have another slanging match over me.
Helen R
Constructive critisism only peeps and maybe just a tad of tolerence
Caryn L
Oh, and by-the-way, Tony doesn't cause conflict, he sparks up a debate.  Some people agree with his views, others don't.
Denise R
Thankyou Caryn,that needed to be said,really enjoyed Monday's meeting but will be nice to have Tony back for next time hopefully.Will be down the Quay on Friday for party,hope to see you there x
Helen E
Thank you Caryn for what you have said. I only signed up this week and when I read all the name calling I almost jumped ship. I thought I might recognise Tony in the street because he would be the one with two heads and steam but having gone to his profile I could see he does just try to do good.. His letter today reaffirms that, anyone who gets out there and tries deserves a hearing. A frank exchange of ideas is good but perhaps we could limit our comments to what we would say to someone's face and take into account our diverse personalities,life experiences and tastes.
Caryn L
Helen. Thanks for persevering with us and welcome.! The people I have met from this site are all very nice people from similar or different walks of life. So Tony has a disorder - well so do I but I just haven't had reason to discuss it with you all - yet, or even if I'll ever feel the need to discuss it with you. However, I wouldn't be ashamed to discuss it because it would help others with similar conditions, or help those who don't understand to be a bit more tolerant.

In case you haven't noticed it we have a Streetlifer's Coffee Morning about once a month where a few of us gather together in a chosen cafe and have a natter - about anything really. Tony will be there. He doesn't have two heads - he is actually the one who sits on the outside and rarely says a word!
Caryn L
However. TONY. I don't want us all to feel we have to pussy-foot, tiptoe around you in case we upset you. We still want your debates, we still want to reply in the same way - often by disagreeing on what you've said. I'd personally like to keep you and your opinions going just as strongly. We'd just prefer responders to be a bit more polite to EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US
Caryn L
In fact, can't we set up some sort of Support/Discussion Group via this site? Set up a completly different page just for this. People could chat either publically or privately.
Caryn L
... sorry, I drifted off a bit then. Support group for people with disorders, syndromes, disabilities, mental health issues. This could be a very positive page because not only could it help others with similar conditions but also teaches us to be more tolerant and understanding.
Denise R
Hi Caryn,
It's a great idea to have a support group on Streetlife,I wonder if it may be a good thing if we kept it as public as possible so people who don't suffer from any of these problems can gain some insight into how they affect sufferers,another big problem that isn't really taken seriously is lonliness,lonely people often feel reluctant to talk about how depressed and isolated they feel.If we can show support for anybody at all,then we're doing a good job x
Caryn L
You would be a good supporter
Caryn L
Tony would be good as well. He's given me an interest (I love researching and learning about different things) and therefore more of an understanding and hence respect for his condition. Tony could also be a Streetlife Buddy to others with the same condition.
Tony Olsson

I haven’t gone away, but as some of you know I wear many hats (only one head Helen, but lots of hats, and I do get steamed up in a good cause. Sorry my crossing swords with a couple of contributors nearly put you off Streetlife). At the moment I have my Lithuanian railway magazine translator’s hat on which is keeping me very busy; not to mention my Letters to the Editor hat (one in the Gazette today, and hopefully one in the Journal tomorrow, and another in next week’s Gazette). I received another magazine today with an article of mine in it (a report of my trip to Lithuania by a total of eleven trains in 2010). I have heard some locals say they’ve never been outside of Devon – they don’t what they’ve been missing! One lady I worked with is a Chelsea supporter who goes to matches at Stamford Bridge by a supporters club coach, but has never been tempted to stay for a few days – come on, us Londoners aren’t that bad!

Caryn and I have been having a little chat on the side as it were, and I fully support her idea of setting up support groups for people who want someone to talk to. Nothing too technical or medical, just someone to talk to who has some experience of the problems you might be encountering. I’ve suffered from the problems caused by Asperger’s syndrome all my life, without knowing until recently what the problem was, and wondering why all the counselling for shyness had no effect. I’ve also had personal contact with a seriously mentally ill and suicidal person, so I will be able to lend a sympathetic ear to anyone in the same situation. Sadly no cures are on the table, just experience and a few ideas.

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